without change within... by Stephen Winspear, NDEr
I have had, in the
past, those moments where I felt my Life was not all that it could, or should be. I have felt unhappy, uncomfortable,
frustrated, discontented, and often angry.
I have in those
moments, decided that something was not right, that something needed to change, to be changed. But you know, in those
moments of unhappiness and frustration, I could rarely seem to make the changes that were necessary to bring me happiness,
to allow me to feel content and at Peace. And I’m good at changing things, really
good…
Now let’s
get things straight here: there’s never been anything wrong with me – I’m nothing less than Perfect.
If I was ever part of a crowd that was told “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone”, I’d have
launched a barrage of pebbles that would have buried even a casual adulterer.
No, the problem was always
with someone else, I was sure of that. Whether it was family pressuring me to conform to their way of Life, or friends
doing the same thing. Often it was the people I worked with, setting me unreasonable deadlines, or impossible workloads
– setting me up for failure in other words.
And of course, more
often than not, it was the other distant individuals I share this World with, personally unknown to me, but nevertheless causing
me constant anguish and discomfort with their petty politicking and close-minded zealotry.
The answer was simple
then: just get Everyone to behave and Believe as I do, and I would finally get some Peace and quiet.
That answer was
obvious really, because that’s exactly what Everyone else was trying to do, so it must be right.
Just get people to say the things I wanted them to say; just get them to agree with me, to understand that the way I live
my Life and the things I Believe are absolutely correct, and brook no disagreement. Then I could have
some Peace.
Thing is, after
about 30 years of trying to persuade, cajole, coerce and threaten people into behaving in a way I could find Peace with, it
suddenly struck me that I might be on the wrong track. You see, the thing that I found more irritating than anything
else, was other people trying to get me to do things the way that they wanted me to do them.
All of a sudden,
the Awareness hit me that what others were trying to do to and with me, was exactly what I was trying to do to and with them:
make someone Change in ways they didn’t want to.
So how then could I find Peace and happiness in my Life?
Actually, it’s
taken me a while to figure it out, but I think I’m almost there.
Quite simply, I
can’t ever force or even expect anyone to change the way they behave or Believe, just to please me. Indeed, the
very act of trying to change others’ behaviour and Beliefs is more often than not the very thing that causes them to
stick to their Beliefs all the more, to entrench their behaviour as a recognisable indication of Who They Are.
The trick is, then,
not to ever attempt to change the way another person behaves by pleading with their better nature or asking
politely (something that usually precedes asking them impolitely), and trying to force someone to change
never works. No, the secret is to change the way I feel about that person; about who
they are and the way they are behaving.
When something someone
is doing or saying (or not doing or not saying) bothers me, I now just take a good look inside my Self and try to figure out
why such a thing does bother me. Invariably, I end up discovering and owning*my
own cause for my own discomfort and unhappiness; and that then makes getting rid of that cause infinitely and immeasurably
easier than trying to excise it from someone else.
So now, when I’m
in a crowd and I hear someone say “Be the Change you want to see in others”, I know exactly what they are talking
about.
Finding fault with
all that which is outside of me only serves to distance and separate myself from the external World, and all its beautiful
people.
Truly: unless we
seek Change within, we must go without.
*********************************************************
so you say you want to save the
world … by JDBourdon
People of good faith – NDErs
or not – desperately want the world to be different, to be better. Small wonder – what a frightening place
this world can be! In the words of the poet James Morrison, "The future’s uncertain, and the end is always near."
Yikes!
If only others would realize that love is the
most important thing. If only others would realize we are all "one." If only others would realize their material
possessions will not go with them, and may very well blind them to what’s important in the cosmic, eternal sense.
Religionists/spiritualists: if only others would
worship god more. Atheists: if only others would worship god less, and get to work on the problems.
Regardless of religion (or non-religion) people
of good faith pursue the goal of a better world by joining organizations and movements, proselytizing for various religious,
philosophical, ideological or spiritual beliefs, contributing money or goods...and perhaps even make a career out of helping
others.
Many, many others – probably the majority
– simply reflect upon our time here and sincerely hope our lives "made the world a little bit better."
Good deeds, good causes, and making this a better
world through them: isn’t this the primary purpose of life?
NO! NO! NO!
They rest on a false premise, an illusion.
The primary purpose of your life is not to create a better world, it’s to build a better you in the primary, eternal
dimension.
One of the most striking and important insights
that hits NDErs during their experience is, "Everything is the way it should be." This comes even from NDErs who in
their initial stage rage at god, demanding to know why there is so much suffering on earth, so much injustice.
And they receive an answer – to which their
response is, "Oh, yeah – how could I have forgotten?"
Good deeds to make the world a better place?
Good causes to make the world a better place? These are illusions in support of the greatest illusion of all: that this
world is the primary dimension.
I once heard of an NDEr - a doctor – who
realized during her life review that her being a doctor was not that important. A doctor! How could that be? Doctors
ease pain, save lives. They do it every day! How could this possibly not be meaningful – at least more meaningful
than, say, being a secretary?
The answer is that your primary mission here is
you. You are not here to save lives or the world. You choose this mission to aid your own progress. That is the way
you serve god.
Your first reaction reading that may be: isn’t
that selfish? No, it isn’t – because the Catch-22 is that the only way you can fulfill your mission
is by coming at everything from love – love of others, love of yourself.
Consider a doctor, then. The doctor examines
a patient, and knows that the recommended approach is a certain medicine, and writes that prescription. One of dozens
he may write that day. He does it without a thought, as routinely as his secretary handles a call. How much compassion
was involved? Was any love summoned from the core of being in doing these things? Did a loveless, detached decision
improve his vibration?
Consider: a rich man tosses a homeless guy
$10 without a blink or barely a thought, it gets rid of the pest and hey, isn’t that a good deed I did? Someone
else walks by and feels genuine, deep compassion for the homeless person, gives him a smile, but no money – can’t
afford it, or sincerely feels they don’t want to help at that moment.
Now, the panhandler, given a choice between the
two, will of course prefer the $10 – his very physical survival is what’s at stake. When that’s the
situation, it’s Priority #1 for him and, for that matter, the rest of us. The $10 will initially help him more
than the compassion, no doubt about it.
But a year from now it is that genuine compassion
that he’ll savor in his darkest, most desperate hour – the compassion that said he mattered - not the long-gone
money. Again, what’s eternal? If deeds could build that stairway to heaven, the afterlife would look mighty
patrician.
Good causes? People support them to make
a better world. Many devote their lives to causes, and they come from love.
But many, many others fuel their support of "good"
causes with rage, anger and fear, or even to get back at others. For example, there are vegetarians whose "love"
of animals causes them to absolutely hate people – to hope they’ll get cancer from eating meat! And we live
at a time when "love" of god/allah – or more accurately, "obedience" to god/allah – causes some to strike from the
coldest hatred imaginable.
The true weight of supporting "good" causes from
these negative vibrations is a self-poisonous judgment of others. That’s what is eternal. And the
negativity is destined to grow, because it demands (usually futilely) the world change.
Some of these people are aware of the rage building
within, and know, in their most insightful moments, that their lives are not happy. Yet it’s easy to tell oneself,
"Well, I can’t fix my life, but I can make the world better, and if there’s a god I’ll be blessed for that."
But that reasoning misses the very point of our
individual lives. NDE life reviews consistently reveal your life here is about you – you don’t see
a review of someone else’s life. And NDErs continually report that many of the "good deeds" they expected to see
were conspicuously absent in their review.
Why? Because these deeds simply had no positive
value unless they arose from genuine love and compassion. The deeds themselves, or even their magnitude in "changing
the world" did not count – only the magnitude of the loving intentions behind the deeds mattered… and they
mattered to the individual.
If deed and causes count the most, then it follows
that the outcome also counts. Which means a father who dies trying to save a drowning child would be get thumbs-down
from god. Who believes that? We don’t control the outcomes of the events in our lives, no matter how much
we try. We do control our intentions – indeed, no one but us determines them.
Some people – even some NDErs – "quote"
god as saying something along the lines of, "I gave you a perfect world, and you messed it up. It’s mankind’s
doing, not mine." And some say that god is so disgusted with humanity that he’s just this close to closing
shop on us.
Mankind’s fault? Who gave us diseases?
Who gave us earthquakes and floods?
Who gave us the different languages, races, generations
and experiences that confuse us? Who gave us scarcities?
Who gave us senses that don’t automatically
connect with god? Who gave us millions of deceptions that make us believe the physical world is all there is?
Who gave us mortality?
The answer is… god. Which means that
either god doesn’t have the power to stop these conditions, or god hates us… or that these conditions are difficult
but absolutely necessary illusions for us and for god to grow in the primary dimension – the eternal one.
It is the latter. As NDErs say: the world
is as it was meant to be. Yes, even as challenging as it is.
Does that mean we do nothing to try to make the
world a better place? Of course not. Do what you will - help the homeless, contribute to research that may cure
AIDS, volunteer to help the elderly. The suffering in the world is there to provide opportunities for growth.
But don’t concentrate on events, deeds,
causes and outcomes – if you do, you may act from hate, anger or fear. Your mission is you. That is apart
from saving the world
God is always, always, through "good" and "bad"
events, trying to summon our eternal nature. It is the realization and manifestation of that love that is the struggle
and the glory, and which will produce a better you… and secondarily, a better world.
